PALUSOT :p

October 6, 2008

Nahulihan ka ng LIGHTER ng parents mo sa bag mo..

 

Palusot no. 1: eh ma! nag-sunog po kami ng basura sa school! clean-up week po kc namin eh..

 

Palusot no. 2: ano ka ba ma?! kailangan talaga namin yan sa laboratory namin bawal kayang pumasok ang walang dalang lighter! heller!!!

 

Kinalabit mo yung taong akala mo friend mo, pero hindi pala. Anong gagawin mo?

 

Palusot no. 1:  hoy bakit?? hindi ako na nangalabit sayo noh,,may ebidensya ka ba???

 

Palusot no. 2: CLASSMATE ikaw pala yan.. laki na pinagbago mo mula nung elementary tayo.. cge bye!

 

Ano ang gagawin mo kung biglang napatae ka sa bus?

 

Palusot no. 1: mahiya naman yung umutot o tumae diyan napaka-baho, kuya papuntahin mo nga muna yang tumae sa cr ng gas station baba narin ako bibili lang ng softdrinks

 

Palusot no. 2: hmmp… ano ba yan! amoy tae ditto.. *tingin sa paa* sino ba sa inyo nakaaapak ng tae???

 

Pumiyok ka habang nagrereport sa harap ng klase..

 

Palusot no. 1: Hay salamat…nakuha ko rin atensyon nyo.. oh shall I continue?

 

Palusot no. 2: binata na aq!!!! kau nga??? mga totoy pa!

 

Ayaw mo sa kagrupo mo pero hindi na pwede magpalit ng groupmates. Lahat ginagawan ng topic. Lahat pinapansin. Lahat pinakekealaman. Panu mo patatahimikin nang ‘di makaka-offend?

 

Palusot no. 1: wow…. ang dada nitong si classmate……come on…  makinig tau sa kanya…..magsitahimik kayong lahat!!!!!!!!

 

Palusot no. 2: ui try mo ngang mag lipsing!dali

 

You were on your period. Naglalakad ka sa daan. Nang tumingin ka sa window ng isang shop nakita mo na may dugo ang likod ng pwet mo. Anong gagawin mo?

 

Palusot no. 1: ahh..grabe…napaka-burara talaga nung little sister ko!!!! pati yung acrylic nia,,sa damitan ko pa nilagay!!!! yan tuloy..sakto pah sa may pwetan….

 

Palusot no. 2: naku ang kalat ko talaga kumain… yung ketchup naupuan ko kanina. grabe naman… yan tuloy parang tagos… grrr…

 

Feel na feel mo ang pagiging honor student. Sinabi na ng teacher niyo ang hingest score na nakuha sa nakaraang exam. Ibabalik niya na ang paper ng highest score. Tumayo ka para kunin ang testpaper pero iba ang pangalan na tinawag ng teacher niyo. Hindi pala sayo.

 

Palusot no. 1: maam…ako na magbibigay sa kanya ng paper nya… its my pleasure..

 

Palusot no. 2: maam, masakit ulo ko, pwede pumuntang clinic?

 

Paano ‘pag nakita ng crush mo na tinitingnan mo yung profile niya sa friendster. Kinikilig ka pa.

 

Palusot no. 1: hoy may isang player dito sa shop na may gusto sau, tingnan mo oh naiwan pang bukas ung profile hayz, buti na lang nakita ko, close ko na, syensya ka na ha, may sakit kasi ako ngaun, masyadong malamig kaya nagnginginig ako

 

Palusot no. 2: mukha kang aso… wahehehe.. animal-lover ako

 

Palusot no. 3: oh..umaariba na nman epelepsy ko…teka te out muna ako…inom lng ako gamot…

 

Kasama mo syota mo naglalakad sa Luneta. Nagalit siya kasi nakatitig ka sa pwet ng magandang babae sa harapan niyo.

 

Palusot no. 1: mahal, tingnan mo parehas kayo ng shorts… hehe!

 

Palusot no. 2: babe, alam mo ayaw ko talaga basta mga may big butt kasi ang sagwa tngnan, e.. mas maganda pa ang small butt kagaya ng sayo…(sabay tapik sa pwet ng gf mo)

 

What if ang baho ng hininga ng bf/gf mo at gusto niyang makipaghalikan sayo?

 

Palusot no. 1: ahh ehh mahal naman nakakahiya oh, dami tao, akala mo naman sken, malandi????break na nga tau..

 

Palusot no. 2: uhmm..bebe..d kaya mahuLi tayu ni papa..kilala ka na ng mga nun..bka pg nkita tayu bugbugin ka p..auq nman gwin sayu un na papa..kaa nxt tym nlng bEbe..liKa bili tayu max mint..tReat qo.. *winks winks*

 

Nahalatang..hindi ka naligo pumasok.

 

Palusot no. 1: wala akong pang jeep eh. kaya tinakbo ko mula bahay hanggang d2. ANG INIT!

 

Palusot no. 2: hay nakakapagod talaga magjogging mula marikina hanggang cubao.. anu ba yan ang baho ko na!!!

 

What if nahuli ka ng prof mo na dinu-drawing mo siya ng nakakatawa at binababoy yung mukha niya?

 

Palusot no. 1: ha? hindi kau to noh.. bakit akala nyo ganito mukha nyo?? cge kung gusto nyo kau nalang to.. lagyan ko pa ng pangalan..

 

Palusot no. 2: si prof naman…pati po pala kayo sinasabi panget ang mga drawing ko.. purkit pangit lang ako mag drawing ginaganito nyo ako!!!!

 

Panu mo sasabihin sa bf/gf mo na may chocolate siya sa ngipin ng di siya naoofend?

 

Palusot no. 1: Bhe, tara mag-toothbrush tayo, may toothbrush at toothpaste ako para sa atin dalawa. Hehehe!

 

Palusot no. 2: sweetie my chocolate ba ako sa ngipin? (pag sinabing wla…) Buti ka pa meron…

 

Nahuli kayo ng mommy ng gf mo na hinahatak mo sya sa kwarto. Anong sasabihin mo?

 

Palusot no. 1: *tatawa* gudeve tita ayaw pa xeng ibgay ung cp qo ee. axarr nga pu nagmmadali nko ee..

 

Palusot no. 2: nakita ko po kasi kau nahihiya aq sa suot ko..

 

Pano kung nahulog ka sa imburnal, tapos maraming nakakita..Anong gagawin mo?

 

Palusot no.1: tamang tama di pa ako nakakaligo! hahaha!

 

Palusot no. 2: oh my god asan na yung phone ko!! tulong!

 

Nadulas ka sa harap ng ultimate crush mo. Anong gagawin mo?

 

Palusot no. 1: nililinis ko kasi yung daanan for you!

 

Palusot no. 2: ang lakas talaga ng appeal mo.. pati tuhod ko bumigay!

 

ANONG GAGAWIN MO PAG ‘DI KA NAKALUSOT SA PALUSOT MO??

 

Palusot no. 1: Ha?! Niloloko mo ba ako? Bakit mo ako sinasabihang nagpapalusot? Nag jojowk ka ba? Sabihin mo kung nagjojowk ka para matuwa nman ako sau..

 

Palusot no. 2: suntukan nalang o!!

  

 

hahaha! my gaaaaaad!!

Nasabi mo na ba ‘to? Funny quotations :D

October 5, 2008

Mag-ingat sa ating pag spokening

 

“The more the manyer.” 

“It’s a no-win-win situation.” 

“Burn the bridge when you get there.” 

“Anulled and void.” 

“Mute and academic.” 

“C’mon let’s join us!” 

“If worse comes to shove.”

“Are you joking my leg?” 

“It’s not my problem anymore, it’s your problem anymore.”

“What are friends are for?” 

“You can never can tell.” (My Personal Favorite!)

“Well well well. Look do we have here!” 

“Let’s give them a big hand of applause.” 

“Been there, been that.” 

“Forget it about it.” 

“Give him the benefit of the daw.” 

“It’s a blessing in the sky.” 

“Right there and right then.”

“Where’d you came from?” 

“Take things first at a time.”

“You’re barking at the wrong dog.”

“You want to have your cake and bake it too.” 

“First and for all.” 

“Now and there.” 

“I’m only human nature.”

“The sky’s the langit.” 

“That’s what I’m talking about it.” 

“One of these days is not like the other.” 

“So far, so good, so far.” 

“Time is of ! the elements.” 

“In the wink of an eye.” 

“The feeling is actual.” 

“For all intense and purposes.” 

“I ran into some errands.” 

“Hi. I’m <your name>, what’s yours?” 

“What is the world is coming to?”  

“What is the next that is?”  

“Get the most of both worlds.” 

“Bahala na sila sa mga batman nila.” 

“Whatever you say so.” 

“Base-to-base casis.” 

“My answers have been prayered.” 

“Please me alone!” 

“It’s as brand as new.” 

“So… what’s a beautiful girl like you?….”

“I can’t take it anymore of this!”

“Are you sure ka na ba?”

“Can’t you just cut me some slacks?”

:D

Sick Notes :D

These are real notes written by parents in a TENNESSEE school district (spellings have been left intact)

1. My son is under a doctor’s care and should not take PE today. Please execute him.

2. Please exkuce lisa for being absent she was sick and i had her shot.

3. Dear school: please ecsc’s john being absent on jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also 33.

4. Please excuse gloria from jim today. She is administrating.

5. Please excuse roland from p.e. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.

8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

10. Please excuse ray friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

11. Please excuse pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre, dyrea, direathe), the sh**s. [note: words in ( )’s were crossed out] .

12. Please excuse tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.

13. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

14. Please excuse jimmy for being.It was his father’s fault.

15. I kept billie home because she had to go christmas shopping because i don’t know what size she wear.

16. Please excuse jennifer fo! R missing school yesterday. We
forgot to get the sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it monday. We thought it was sunday.

17. Sally won’t be in school a week from friday. We have to attend her funeral.

18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the marines.

19. Ple ase excuse jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.

20. Please excuse mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.

22. Please excuse brenda. She has been sick and under the doctor.

23. Maryann was absent december 11-16, because she had a fever,sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick,fever an sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn’t the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.

Now we know why parents are screaming for better education for our kids!

–wahahah! they are only human nature ryt? no anybody is perfect haha!

Interesting Facts: JOKE?

1. If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

(Hardly seems worth it)


2. If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

(Now that’s more like it)



3. A pig’s orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.

(In my next life I want to be a pig)
(How’d they figure this out, and why?)



4. Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.

(Still can’t get over that pig thing)
(Don’t try this at home…maybe at work?)



5. Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.

(Is that why Flipper was always smiling?)
(And pigs get 30-minute orgasms? Doesn’t seem fair)

6. The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

(Hmmmmmmmmm……..)

7. Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do.

(If you’re ambidextrous do you split the difference?)



8. The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.

(From drinking little bottles of…?)
(Did taxpayers pay for this research??)



9. Polar bears are left handed.

(Who knew….? Who cares? How’d they find out, did they ask them?)



10. The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.

(What can be so tasty on the bottom of the pond?)



11. The flea can jump 350 times its body length.

It’s like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes…can you imagine?? And why pigs?)



12. A cockroach will live nine days without it’s head, before it starves to death.

(Creepy)



13. The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male’s head off.

(Honey, I’m home. What the….)
(Well, at least pigs get a break there…)



14. Some lions mate over 50 times a day.

(In my next life I still want to be a pig … quality over quantity)



15. Butterflies taste with their feet.

(Oh, Geez) (That’s almost as bad as catfish)



16. An ostrich’s eye is bigger than it’s brain.

(I know some people like that.)



17. Starfish don’t have brains.

(I know some people like that too.)